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Mar 09
2010
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The Paradigm Shift of a Heart: Groaning inwardlyPosted by Veronica Han in Untagged |
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2 For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. 23 And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. - Romans 8:22-25
This hope that Paul speaks of is not a hope that we arbitrarily decide is there. Rather, this is a hope that the Holy Spirit pours into us after regeneration.
I have found often the case, however, that despite regeneration, I still have the capacity to hope for what is seen. I hope for the achievable and the known because I am afraid. The hope that I claim to have during those times, I attribute readily to God because it is only in those situations where I can manipulate the outcome, thus MAKING God a God of my needs. It sounds very ideal, but that is NOT our true God. Yes, our God knows our needs, but it is not always the needs that we think we need, since our wants and needs rarely show glory to God, but instead to ourselves. And praise God for this.
The truth is, I've been feeling really anxious lately. My emotions have been controlling me, and they are so quick to react and quick to flee. I'm left drained at the end of the day, having thought I lost an easy battle. I've cried desperate prayers for God to fill me with the joy and the peace that I know only He can give. But I'm reminded by an ultimate longing that has been fulfilled and will continue to be filled; a groaning that has been responded to by the Holy Spirit, and that which is constantly appeasing our loss everyday.
And knowing that God HAS moved and will keep moving puts me in a position to wait patiently. This patience, I know, could only come because of the hope that has been embedded in me. I just constantly need to be in prayer for God to give me the strength to claim this reality.
This is my prayer in the desert / when all that's within me feels dry / This is my prayer in my hunger and need / my God is the God who provides - Desert Song (Brooke Fraser)
