Are you Korean American and have dreams of becoming a doctor or a lawyer? If you don’t but are studying to become one anyways, you may fall under the cliché that is Korean parenting. First generation Korean parents have this misconception that the only way to be considered a “success” in this world is to have a career in the medical or legal world. This idea is crippling young Korean Americans in living out their calling and their vision.

It is one of the hardest tasks to tell your parents that you are going to pursue a different career and education path. In the home of most Korean Americans in California, it is almost a requirement to attend a UC University and attending a Cal State University usually means failure. Standards are most certainly high for young Korean Americans. However, it may be standards that do not concern their passions such as art, humanities or film. 
 

If you look around, you may notice the many different occupations available in this country. Some of these occupations may strike an interest and a passion in you. Then comes the hard part of abandoning what you’ve been taught all your life and actually following your dreams. Many Korean parents would be enraged at this direction you’ve decided to take; many will withdraw support financially and emotionally. This is something we have to fight through to achieve our dreams.
 

If you have failed to achieve your goal or failed to undertake the opportunities of your passion-driven work then chances are resentment will begin to build towards the parents for the lack of support on your decisions. It is very understandable that you would be upset but when that resentment becomes hatred, this becomes a major problem. It is written in the Bible and the Ten Commandments that you should “honor your father and your mother”. That’s all that is written in the Ten Commandments, never does it limit a child in which way you honor your parents. No matter what situation you’re placed in or who your parents are, you need to respect and honor them because they are your parents. It is commanded of us from God and an important theme of Christianity. If it really is God’s vision to get into the occupation then God will provide a way. 

After reading this and re-evaluating your lives, you may realize that you find yourself in this cliché position. If you have the motivation and the prayer life, there is no doubt you can achieve your goal academically and professionally. From my experience with Korean parents, you can’t blame them for pushing you towards a high profile career in this country. It’s hard to process that parents want the best for you in the long-run, but it is true. They hold a history of wartimes, separation, and hardship that’s become a stretch between the generations.  You may not see it but they really do want what is best for you. However that definition gets lost in translation as for them happiness can sum up to lots of money and it may be different for you. Even with these clashing mindsets, begrudgingly treating your parents isn’t always the best solution. Love your parents because they do care and love you, they just may not show it in the way you want it to be. Ultimately, happiness in a Christian upbringing means budding in God’s kingdom.  Follow your dreams and become successful in what you do and that will bring happiness to your parents and yourself.

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