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Feb 21
2010
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Discomfort versus ComfortPosted by Jae in Untagged |
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I enjoy hanging out with selfish people.
They are people that are so self-absorbed, so self-centric that
you just cringe and wonder how they have become to be the way they are.
Selfish people, naturally, think about themselves.
They are not evil.
They just do not have the capacities to look beyond
their own self.
If there is food on the table with two chairs,
they are too fixated on the food to even know that there is one more empty chair.
If it is not empty, the person on that next chair is in his periphery.
If it is empty, the person most likely does not know it even exists.
There is only one objective of this person, and that is,
he will stare and salivate at the food, and consume it.
Most of the time, he is not aware of his surroundings,
or even care that there was competition for the food.
He will just take it, and think of anything else
only after he has been satisfied of which he had been fixated on.
Even then,
his eyes are wandering soon after,
and will grab onto its next prey.
These kinds of people do not bring intense joy, or grand fondness out of you.
In fact, they bring undesirable feelings of discomfort and sometimes annoyance.
They are like a two week old pot of soup that you forgot to wash.
Once you take a whiff of it, you are simply disgusted.
You would only care to wash it, if you did not want to throw it away.
However, if you had a choice between two pots, you would take another.
You may ask why I would love to hang out with selfish people.
You may ask why I would want to take a whiff at a pot of soup gone bad.
You may wonder at this point if there is a hint of sarcasm in the statement.
I love hanging out with selfish people because
at the moment of recognition that they are selfish,
I see that very nature in myself.
There must be a law in nature that states that one must give and one must take away.
CS Lewis once stated that something that takes up space,
is in essence, taking away space from something else (as in an analogy with
competing humans).
If one gives, one takes.
If somethings goes ten yards, there is something else that is subtracted ten yards.
For example,
If two people are in an automobile,
and the weather has reached 90 degrees,
one person may be hot, while the other might be cold.
At this point,
there is a decision to be made whether the air conditioner should be turned up or turned down.
If it is turned up,
it will cause one to be uncomfortable, while accommodating the other.
If it is turned down,
the same effects will occur.
There is always discomfort when the other person takes, and you are the giver.
There is always comfort when the other person gives in, and you are the taker.
This brings us back to the point of selfishness.
When I realize that the other person is selfish,
I am acknowledging that there is discomfort in me
by the very fact that the other person is acting in a way that is consuming to himself.
A label they have a name for - self-absorbed.
This very discomfort occurs when I am not naturally giving in,
but am forced to give in, or forced to be the giver.
Selfishness is someone who does not want to give, and feels discomfort when he is forced to,
usually at the hands of another selfish person.
A selfless person is one who does not mind giving in, and feels comfort when he is brought to give to another.
It is highly likely that when I feel discomfort (or even disgust) at the sight of a selfish person,
there are two of them in the same room.
They are people that are so self-absorbed, so self-centric that
you just cringe and wonder how they have become to be the way they are.
Selfish people, naturally, think about themselves.
They are not evil.
They just do not have the capacities to look beyond
their own self.
If there is food on the table with two chairs,
they are too fixated on the food to even know that there is one more empty chair.
If it is not empty, the person on that next chair is in his periphery.
If it is empty, the person most likely does not know it even exists.
There is only one objective of this person, and that is,
he will stare and salivate at the food, and consume it.
Most of the time, he is not aware of his surroundings,
or even care that there was competition for the food.
He will just take it, and think of anything else
only after he has been satisfied of which he had been fixated on.
Even then,
his eyes are wandering soon after,
and will grab onto its next prey.
These kinds of people do not bring intense joy, or grand fondness out of you.
In fact, they bring undesirable feelings of discomfort and sometimes annoyance.
They are like a two week old pot of soup that you forgot to wash.
Once you take a whiff of it, you are simply disgusted.
You would only care to wash it, if you did not want to throw it away.
However, if you had a choice between two pots, you would take another.
You may ask why I would love to hang out with selfish people.
You may ask why I would want to take a whiff at a pot of soup gone bad.
You may wonder at this point if there is a hint of sarcasm in the statement.
I love hanging out with selfish people because
at the moment of recognition that they are selfish,
I see that very nature in myself.
There must be a law in nature that states that one must give and one must take away.
CS Lewis once stated that something that takes up space,
is in essence, taking away space from something else (as in an analogy with
competing humans).
If one gives, one takes.
If somethings goes ten yards, there is something else that is subtracted ten yards.
For example,
If two people are in an automobile,
and the weather has reached 90 degrees,
one person may be hot, while the other might be cold.
At this point,
there is a decision to be made whether the air conditioner should be turned up or turned down.
If it is turned up,
it will cause one to be uncomfortable, while accommodating the other.
If it is turned down,
the same effects will occur.
There is always discomfort when the other person takes, and you are the giver.
There is always comfort when the other person gives in, and you are the taker.
This brings us back to the point of selfishness.
When I realize that the other person is selfish,
I am acknowledging that there is discomfort in me
by the very fact that the other person is acting in a way that is consuming to himself.
A label they have a name for - self-absorbed.
This very discomfort occurs when I am not naturally giving in,
but am forced to give in, or forced to be the giver.
Selfishness is someone who does not want to give, and feels discomfort when he is forced to,
usually at the hands of another selfish person.
A selfless person is one who does not mind giving in, and feels comfort when he is brought to give to another.
It is highly likely that when I feel discomfort (or even disgust) at the sight of a selfish person,
there are two of them in the same room.
