Korean American Christian Blog

 John 15:4 says,

"Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me."

So, yesterday ... no, wait.

It was 11 years ago, but it feels like it was yesterday.

My mom got into an argument with my 12 year old sister.

I say argument instead of reprimanding or beating because right around junior high is when my sister became a woman of her own and stood up to mom. Where I was weak in reacting to the "illogical" backlashes of my mother, my sister was strong and downright disobedient. If I did not get my way, I would mumble to myself and walk back to my room. If she did not get her way, she would complain and rant and cry.

 On this particular evening, (and I'm not even sure what happened exactly)

she left the house! She actually left the house as an act of defiance. She yelled something like "It's not fair!" and a few curse words added in for dramatic effect, and Poof - she was gone. 

 I can't help to think and laugh at what happened, because she came back like three hours later.

Here's the probable timeline:

5pm - call friends (who are still in junior high) and tell them what happened

5:30pm - realize her friends cannot pick her up, and also they are not living in bachelor pads where she could just drop in.

6pm - go to the nearest park and take a nice freedom walk with the breath of fresh air

6:15pm - it's getting dark, and the park is freaking her out.

7pm - walking alongside and sitting on the sidewalk is becoming a little boring.

7:30pm - calling more friends. Even after two hours, they are still living with their parents and unable to pick her up.

8pm - she's getting hungry and decides to come back home.

This year, God's been telling me to remain in Him.

remain in me

Through my bipolar spiritual journey, my highs in one week and

the lows in the next, he's been saying to stay under his roof.

remain in me

 He says that when you step outside of his house, you're not under his immediate supervision, you're not under his protection. Everything outside of the house is open and tempting. There's much freedom and seemingly endless possibilities and choices. Modern age has made choice the ultimate right.

remain in me

 When I enter an affluent community and see the designer wear people sport, I get jealous, or sometimes envious. At other times, inspired to get something good and wear it and sport it and be creative.

remain in me

 When I see a star on TV or a friend of a friend who owns a record label, or does something I would love to do, I admire the riches of this world and think one day THAT is what I want, or THAT is what life is all about. And through my life, I have a deep yearning for those things and those things will not go away. It is often the most important thing in my life. If I were to do THAT, I would be okay with myself. I can live with myself

remain in me

 When I enter a season of sin, and the tempting thoughts of the sin are lingering in the back of my mind, I secretly desire it to stay there. I do not want to let go of it, and would rather  give in to it than to have God take those temptations away. Some sins are a little overrated, and others are oh so sweet and appropriately rated. I give in, and God knows I know that God knows it's like leaving his house, his tree of life.

remain in me

Through distraction, through darkness, through drudgery, through depression, through devil's manipulative attacks, through dumb decisions,

through days of dodging God and dancing away with my happy freedom feet,

God continues to remind me to

remain in me

And whenever he whispers those words into my mind,

it speaks to my soul,

and deep down inside I know that's the right way to be.