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CHRIST IN ME... It had been one of the most challenging times of my life, where my spirit and my willingness to let myself be molded, collided into a pile of mush, a sticky, gooey, intolerable matter of existence, that has become a great and stupendous, very hard lesson to learn. God, in all his marvelous, supernatural, awesome, remarkable ways, has whispered to me from time to time, "be still and know that I am God." I mean, I knew, something definitely was up inside, but really never grasped the complete and authentic definition to this until now. Being completely still is aggrivating. Meaning, not doing a single thing, but remaining silent, remaining in a state of complete motionless-ness, if that is even a word, was THE hardest thing to do. From time to time, I could hear God trying to whisper to me, be still, sometimes in not so subtle ways, and then at times, experiencing a way to being still, through intimate moments shared with family, and friends. Perhaps, it is also the way I imitate my parents in their dedication to being authentic. Authenticity in a manner which simply shows, do you utmost, for whatever task you are put into, and in every manner which compels you to live your life. It is a impossible task. To be perfectly able, capable, and worthwhile, to follow orders that are impossible to fill. It is only now that I see, there is no way to fill that tall order of perfection. I fall incredibly short, of that. I am not perfect. But inside, I feel there is a great desire to comply to what I think and know to be the path paved for me to walk upon. We all have a path that God gave, and to try to have every step be in perfect order, is quite impossible. The only steps that complete such a task can be only done through the life and death of Christ. Looking at myself, I will always have steps that are not straight back to back, one infront of another type of imprinting which comes upon my walk with Christ. And even through this time, while I sit here contemplating, blabbering about my inmost thoughts, I am so filled with thanksgiving, that I must praise God, for revealing another thing about myself, that I am coming to see more clearly. Loving yourself,even letting go of yourself, in the midst of finding out who you really are, how you hold true to yourself, in the manner of experiencing your likes, dislikes, loves, qualms, etc etc, all within the context of Jesus experiencing you, and loving you, has been a really eye opening adventure. I expect, my journey with loving and experiencing Christ, will become even more radocally as I grow with him. ... The one thing I want to share is this. I pray that God will remain a constant hope for you. That He will open your eyes and pierce your heart, that the Holy Spirit will take hold of your life, mold you in a new and creative way that you have never experienced, that this year, will be unlike any other year in your life. God in all his awesomeness, has a perfect plan for you, a plan that has been well formed since the dawn of time, and even through every pain, and every joy, and every mundane moment that interupts your walk, God sees you, hears you, loves you, cherishes you, just as much as your parents love and cherish each of you today. And that love, through the death of his beloved son, Jesus Christ, compels me to write these few lofty words of insight. For me it is found in the knowing that christ died for mysake, because he first loved, and because it was the only way to save us, from an eternity of being apart. How selfish am I, how arrogant am I then, if I take this day, for granted, and splurge in the knowing, that I have a right to this or that? For all things are granted for a greater purpose than our own meaningless reasoning, and that our aim should always try to be, to please and delight the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Being still, is understanding, that even in this awkward, uneasy moment of silence, taking in all that God has shouted unto us, revelations about ourselves, about God himself, and a higher purpose, and plan not yet displayed for our acquiring. I pray for you beloved. That God will continue to mold you, hold you, take shape of you in every possible way. So that His will be done, through every step and every fall, and every rise of knowing, God loves, reveals, and conceals, at a perfect time, in a perfect way to express the magnitude of his love unto us. Be blessed my friends, today, tomorrow and always. Until tomorrow's time.... May God bless you and keep you, and his face shine always on you until we meet again. In His grace, ME
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