Korean American Christian Blog

With all the many many verses in the bible that we have come across, of all the ones that surround music, and praise, and thanksgiving, and how our laments, and joys, sorrows and tears, all ascribe to the voice of carrying our hearts to the Father, there was one that truly truly stood out to me.

Being a avid music lover, I find little things here and there, snippets of wise and curious sayings of respectable people, but nothing that was said on earth until now, was more profound (well, maybe other verses in the bible too) than the verse I found a few weeks ago. 

 Matthew 26:30 & Mark 14:26 are exactly the same. nothing added, nothing taken away. 

Man, Summer flew by and its already Fall!

It feels strange, and awkwardly invigorating. The start of the new school year means, new beginnings, new experiences, and most of all, memories to be cherished by friends, family, and loved ones.  This year is most surprising, at least physically. The whole east coast feeling the aftereffects of an earthquake, going thru rainy season that never really seems to end from hurricanes that come through our way, and tornadoes that form to uproot trees, and cause such a fuss when it rams into a house, or telephone pole, then, out goes our electricity... It has been such austacious sort of season for us easterners lately.  

 More than anything, I am beginning to see my greatest desire unfold with great care. To be in a position to care for my family, and see myself in a new light. Nothing is nothing when it comes to flexing those spiritual muscles, but, it took me all a whole spring, summer, and part of fall to realize, the role that I take on as a mom, wife, teacher, student, friend, sister, daughter...woman, was to make myself see, I am nothing but a spec of dust in the wind in the grand scheme of things, and to the place which the wind carries my small unobtrusive life, is but God to know and for me to find out.... 

 In all things, I urge you to pray, pray over your friends, family, loved ones, but also pray over things that you might not have considered, your elected leaders for church and state. The more I think about it, it just makes more sense that even though we may not fully understand to what breadth their role in life will affect us, they too need prayer.  

 Anyhow. I will update soon with some more ramblings tomorrow. For now, be blessed, fight the good fight, and surge on in the fight against our foe. 

Updates in Reality...

 Not that  the things that I post really account for a false Reality, But Just to say, what is going on in real life...

Paying it Forward... What a huge mockery it is, a coin that was termed through the glamour and glitz of Hollywood, to make an eager buck, and a few sniffles and tears of dramatic role playing. This is an over exaggerated magnification of what we are already told to do, and yet, this idea that was brought forth over 2,000 years ago, trade marked by people like Oprah, by "paying it forward" completely miss the point of what paying it forward truly implies. Who gets the glory, you or God?

The thought of someone, a complete stranger, doing something radical, and radically different, can be extremely mind boggling. To be utterly perplexed at the idea of placing another person's needs before your own, can be insane - to the unbeliever. Maybe they attribute it to saying, doing good works, no matter how unbelievable, is profitable for the do-er, because in one sense they are receiving recognition, or this or that... We need to remind ourselves that it is not for worldly recognition, or fame, or fortune, or fortitude. All of these are soooo trivial. What matters is that it is truly through our works alone that Christ's light shine through us, in our demeanor, in our everything, and as people look at us in an outwardly shell, they will realize that there is indeed something different that separates us from the rest of the world.   

 I'm not saying you should dump everything, and just go ballistic on giving to the poor and needy, and just jump in on every idea of "ministries" in need.  I think God will lead you in a way, where it is in your area of specialty,  that will be placed in your heart, mind, and soul to do things that will change the world you live in.  *Although Jesus did say, give up everything and follow me...* =)

Letting go...

 I am a fool. I have always been foolish in the way that I think. I have these really timid moments when I feel like I can't let go of control because of my own stubbornness, and lack of faith....more  in my child's ability to be safe.  I don't know how my parents were able to trust me to go anywhere when I was young... But as a mom, letting my son go on a camping trip with his school classmates, was THE hardest thing I have done.  

I am so scared of how things might end up if I let him go. My sister always tells me I have to lighten up, and trust that my son will be in good hands, especially because of the teacher being with them at all times, etc etc... but really, I'm just really really really paranoid.  

So this is how it all went down. 

 My son Phillip is now 10,  is in the 4th grade. He brings home this sheet of paper, mind you that I didn't really pay attention that he said stuff about this trip until sunday night...  and he'd been asking, begging, pleading..."mom, my class is going on a trip..."

Much of the world in this time, seems to be truly groaning at its knees, and the perplexity, complexity, and uneasiness of taking in all the hard things that have befallen our sad little world, is but a constant reminder of Christ's compelling words... "these things must happen"

As many of you already have experienced, Japan and its massive earthquake/tsunami have taken us by surprise.  *not that we should be since something big was supposed to happen, like the fault line up the coast of cali...* but moreso, to the effect of contrasting all the major natural disasters which have glazed over our little world, in essence, should not be a shock to us, after the warnings Christ had given us.

 All of this has started to make me think of things that point to the end of the age.  The loom and gloom of it isn't why I should worry, if anything, I should be happy because it just means, we are one step closer to Christ's coming. But, to realize the state of how we are, in America, in the context of globalization is truly baffling.  I don't believe in everything I see on TV, or read online, as it is concerned with the dealings of how our govt. is run.

But I am starting to see, the contrast in how our worldly neighbors are starting to rise up, and surpass us.  If there is this true need of collectively working towards spreading the word of God, then how is it that we are in a slumber? I feel that. Not just judging in a way of saying I'm better than you, but rather, like there is a definite lull over people because of the qualms of living an ordinary life, seem to take precedence, than truly lighting that fire under our butts, impacting our world that we lead... Maybe its just me.

 There have been times, when I feel a deep seeded thought, something is definitely coming.  Not a monster, or some weird alien attack. But more in a sense, there is something spiritual, that lurks in the backs of my heart, where something Big, will take shape.

Why do you love me,  asked thrice before,

Puzzled,perplexed, confused  and more, 

To find a reason beyond  a life,

searching everywhere leads only to strife,

Such question begins as a story from long ago,

It is that time of the year again, when the hustle and bustle of getting ready for the holidays draws ever so close with each passing weekend, and the boisterous ruckus that comes about from the sticky sugar coated goodness of carols being blasted from grocery stores, shoe stores, clothing stores, one stop shopping stores... stores everywhere, target shopaholic holiday fiends like myself, into buying more things for more people, just because, its the holidays.

In the last few weeks, I have had such a huge hurdle with personal matters. Things that I thought were not very important, all of the sudden, overwhelmed me at times, and I found myself, curled into a pitiful ball, at the mercy of my own careless mind,  shouting, why, why, why, instead of because because because...

 It is because, of His grace, It is because of His mercy, It is because He first loved us, and not because we center ourselves around wanting to know why.  It doesn't matter why, or how come. What matters is that life is, life will always be, in God's hands no matter what.  How we choose to exhale the blessings he's enveloped us with having, is a different story.

 So,out of foolishness, and mindless chatter, I found myself, clung to the old rugged cross, where my every heartache, my every hurdle of anxiety, depression, and fear, was lifted to an all knowing Savior, and it is only now that I understand, Have no fear, Jesus is Here really means what it says. 

I know I don't make any sense, I suppose I am only venting in part because I have wasted so much energy and time trying to focus my life on things that were truly trivial to start with.  

It has been a few weeks since I have last blogged, I find it refreshing, when things  just take shape over  time, and the course that you set yourself on, really has been set by the loving hand of God our Father. So it begins...

 The life of a student, in every way imaginable, is like the tree that is planted by the loving hands of a well seasoned farmer. He picks the location with great love and care, thinking for the best interest of its future, and those that are around, to be planted by choosing the choicest soil, rich in nutrients, and bound by the beautiful landscape around it. As it begins to take root, little furry creatures take shelter in its branches, giving and taking from the tree, while the tree, because of the love and care provided by the old farmer, has developed thick, robust trunk and branches, that are no longer intimidated by its surroundings, raise its arms heavenbound. With each passing season, it grows stronger and stronger and we notice, it is indeed with time its beauty rests in its ability to rise with the dawn and slumber with each dusk. 

Training that is provided by the pruning of the skillful and artistic hand of the farmer is very much like the pruning and shaping of the mind. Yet we have become so distracted by the rush of deadlines, due dates, and obligations, we sometimes miss out in the enjoyment of what we are really doing. 

Why do people really go to school? To make that 6 figure salary, to have the things that this world boasts about, to buy the things that seem to fit the mold of modern society... I am not saying that these things are bad. It's the never ending desire of wanting more, of living up to an empty standard of having what the world calls normal and the complacency of how the world views our generation of novel thinkers.   

There was a time when schoolwork was not a commodity, when going to school was to desire to become like the great minds of our past, philosophers that boggled the minds of mortal man, and with the entrance of Christ Jesus, who in every way, shape and form, even at a tender age teaching the great minds of the time, had puzzled the minds of biblical scholars back then.With such knowledge of this incident when Mary and Joseph frantically searching for their young son find him with knowledgeable professors, Jesus sternly says, where do you think I was?  Such a painting  as this compels us to think about how much Jesus really enjoyed the process of learning.... but it is the heart of God that is more important, and how the hearts of man fail so miserably, and can not be depended on. 

A thousand generations

I was reading through Deut. this morning, and had a great awakening, something which had provoked curiosity, and then at last, a great revelation.

"Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands." Deut. 7: 9

 also read verses 12-15. ...

Reflection: Love is...

Finding forgiveness even when you don't deserve it, when there are no words to say something important, it speaks volumes, when a simple smile, turns into a hearty laugh behind the innocence of a young child's embrace, promises left broken to friends that were not meant to be wronged. But behind these mysteries, lies God's unchanging hand. The power and might of one that is completely in charge is gentle and soft to the touch...
Satan is described by Christ as one who "steals, kills and destroys". He really did try this past month. To steal my family from me, To kill my hope of having hope, and to destroy any kind of love that I have for anything. He tried. Boggles my mind to think that such a being could even fathom to do such a loathesome act. So I feel sorry for him. Because if he simply just listened, reacted as he was supposed to, none of the BAD things would be upon him. 
I feel that God is truly showing me just how much he loves me. Not that he hasn't before, but it feels so subtle.... First by entrusting all of my mom's health issues, although they are not through completely, God is a healer, and restorer of all things broken. To entrust your faith in the likes of man, is nothing. Satan tried to use this to persuade me, that if only we trust this doctor, everything would be fine, it really wasn't all that. All of Dr. Gonzalez's work as a doctor, his life that lead him to meeting with us, and exercising the ability to perform surgery on my mom, was indeed God's doing. All his tedious work as a neurosurgeon, his love of learning, and exploring and correcting, and restoring families, is totally God given. Then, to work in a miracle in itself, when the impossible seemed so vast a distance from here to timbucktoo, it is God's revealing grace that everything works for a higher purpose than our own puny thoughts.
The God of the world, had in mind for us, moments to sway us, even since the start of time, ways to sway things that will be so fantastic, and out of the ordinary, we are completely unable to fathom its greatness and vibrancy because of our humanistic nature. But Jesus said, I have overcome the world, so that you might live. So it is. I live by his love for me. I live and love, and have a heart for loving because he has created in me, the ability to see another as they perceive themselves. But regardless of the output, we are called to living such arduous, incompatible lives because we can not comply to the worldly standards enforced by the world alone. Just because we are human does not make it right to live to live. We should strive to live, a life dedicated to mirroring the footsteps of Christ, so that in our daily provisions as sons of man, we can at least devote that portion of ourselves in willingness, and aptitude though we fall miserably short.

The love of family, the love of friends, the love of neighbors, and the love of strangers.  All encircle the fact that it remains, you still receive something at the end of the circle. That is, it benefits to your gain, that this outwardly gesture you position yourself to, clings to a hope, of finding love, of acceptance, and profit to your advantage. (this was an excerpt from a sermon recently...) 

Even though I do not know what is to come, I am still so grateful thatGod hears me. My prayer usually starts this way: Father forgive me for all the wrongs that I have placed between you and I. There is no reason to justify all of it, but simply, I beg that Jesus is enough to cleanse me of my sins. so I repent to you, with everything I hold inside of me, forgive me Father, for my sins, and remember them not any longer.  so I thank you, for hearing me, in this moment and for its future.

Thank you for everything. For my kids, my husband, & my family who love me, my friends who also show me that they love me,  for giving me a vision to walk to, and a passion for understanding what I lack most, which is everything...

I love you O lord my strength, with all that is truly within me. May I bless you all the time and I pray that praise never part my lips...

In Jesus Precious Name

Amen.